It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
