no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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