We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
