I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
