i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
