Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Randomize
