Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
