i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I had to cum in my sink.
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