mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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