Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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