He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize