found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize