well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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