weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
