Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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