Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
