She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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