jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
