whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
