my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Even the bartender felt bad for me
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
