? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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