"it" just moved
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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