well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
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and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
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It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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