I puked a lego.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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