I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize