Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
