apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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