I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
