her vagine was all disorganized.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
