Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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