my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
