well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
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Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
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The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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