The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
home. puking in laundry basket.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
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The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
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I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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