All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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