he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
