I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
