i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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