It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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