yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize