Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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