I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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