We won't sleep together?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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