eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
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What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
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Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
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