are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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