My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize