a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
