I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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