its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
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Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
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Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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