my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
