ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
