Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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