Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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