tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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