I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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