The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize