I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
