i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
